Day +56

Preliminary tests show that Kristen's marrow is still at 2% blast cells. That's very good. Our PA called to let us know so that we wouldn't wonder all weekend.

Many of you have emailed and let me know how encouraging this blog has been to you. I thank God for that. Any good that comes from this is because of His desire to increase your faith. I am just one of the foolish things of the world that He uses to further His Kingdom.

I've mentioned privately to many of you how what is happening to me personally in this trial is a direct answer to prayer. I specifically think back to a time between 2000-2003 when I was involved in several different Beth Moore Bible studies. One in particular spoke to me, Breaking Free. I remember during that time, I would pray to be teachable and that God would use me as a vessel. That God would open up His Word to me and give me a better understanding. I was in my late 30's, had grown up attending church, but had never read the entire Bible. Since that time I've participated in other Bible studies, taught Sunday School and read the Bible from cover to cover. Occasionally remembering to repeat these prayers. One of my strongest desires has always been to be open, transparent about my own struggles. I felt that so many times when we become Christians we think we will be changed instantly. Even when I taught Sunday School I tried to be open about my own walk with Christ. I would distribute the Bibles around the room and pray that God would speak to the students. That He would overcome my inadequacies and let them absorb His message to them. I've had many ups and downs since then. In fact I would say I was in quite a slump when Kristen was diagnosed with AML. I was attempting to climb out of that hole but kept sliding back. But as we struggled with Kristen's diagnosis and subsequent treatment, I felt God lifting me out of that awful place. What a fool I had been. Thinking I could pull myself out of that slump. I am in awe of all God is doing through Kristen's illness. He is opening my eyes to so many things. He is showing me that He is the God of miracles. Just as He parted the Red Sea, He is still working in the lives of His children. I am just thankful that He has answered those prayers and continues to answer my prayers. Our situation is not unique. There are families all around the world dealing with situations that are much more devastating. I'm just allowing you to see inside ours. I'm just showing you how we struggle. How I struggle each day to remember to abide with God. Even my blog shows the peaks and valleys along the way. I'm joyful for you that you also are experiencing God through it. My prayer: May God continue to speak to you through my simple words. May He continue to open my eyes to His presence in the world. May we continue on with the blessing of your words of encouragement. Thank you Lord God for seeing us as teachable and for using our situation as a vessel for Your Purpose. But let me not boast in anything but the grace of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. Amen.

Note: Even as I go to post this I cringe at being so open. In a way a blog seems anonymous. That helps me hit post!