Day 20

No improvement today. Kristen was able to get better rest last night, the Dr. left orders for the nurse and aide to coordinate the times they came into the room and keep them to a minimum. She is still coughing and I hear more nasal congestion. The doctor did say that her lungs sounded a little better. I am extremely concerned with the fact that in less than a week her weight is up by 8 pounds. There is no way she has eaten enough to have that happen. For example, today she ate a piece of toast with nutello and half of a PBJ sandwich. The sandwich can't count because she ended up in a coughing fit and threw it up. Her feet and hands aren't puffy or we could easily say it was water retention. I'm very confused, I worry that something may be up with her kidneys. She has been given Lasix for the water retention, but I'm not seeing a significant improvement. Her blood pressure remains high. They give her blood pressure medicine and it works for a period of time. Her white count dropped a little today but that isn't abnormal. They expect some fluctuation in her counts. She did receive Platelets again. The part that is difficult to watch is the fact that she is so weak. The effort to get out of bed and go to the bathroom (maybe 5-6 steps) wears her out. She has no interest in eating but makes an effort for me. She knows that it is important that she receive some nutrition.

I get exhausted from being here all the time. Like I mentioned before, hospitals are not a place to get rest. Today I was blessed by the opportunity to go back to the apartment and nap. My sweet Barbara, came and sat with Kristen. I didn't realize how tired I was. I don't remember much more than laying down and turning on some relaxing music. I woke to a text from Devin about 2 hours later. I had gotten up this morning a little before 5. Not because I wanted to but, that's when a lot of the activity begins on the unit. I just gave in and got up and took a 30 minute walk on the skybridge, spent some time in the chapel and got my coffee. I did enjoy watching the medical center come to life. At first it was deserted and then slowly you'd see people coming to work or others walking like I was. It was very peaceful. Oh, and there is no humidity or heat in the skywalk!

How can you pray? Pray for a resolution for this weird weight gain/high blood pressure issue. Ask God to give the medical team discernment so that they can look at all her symptoms and see how they fit together and how to resolve them. Pray for healing for Kristen's body, a return of energy, appetite and strong lungs. Pray for God to give me what I need when I need it to stay strong. The walking has been a great release of tension. Having a friend close by that can come and be with Kristen and allow me to sleep is a blessing too. Ultimately we are praying for freedom from this cancer.

Please don't forget to give thanks for Kristen's caregivers. We have had answer to a previous pray and are getting to know them better. I think I finally thought of a way to show our appreciation for them. They work long hard hours and often don't get the thanks they deserve.